Things have been serious on the blog for a while now, and I'm sorry to say, they are only getting more serious. You see, we are in the midst of a "cultural Jihad", wherein our traditional American values are being threatened by liberals who are in the pocket of Big Islam and other special-interest groups (see illustration on, of course, the left). These liberals include our seemingly-innocent donut-purveyors and even those who are creating software to allow our children to have digital children of their own!
Thankfully, conservative counter-insurgents are willing to point out the many threats facing us as Americans - primary among them is Rachael Ray wearing a scarf in a Dunkin Donuts commercial. You see, its all part of the left-wing conspiracy to...um...I'll have to tune in to Sean Hannity to find out, because I'm not sure why I should be afraid, I just know that I am.
(As an aside, while you're learning from the Hannity why we should be afraid of each other, you can also go looking for love in what are assuredly all the right places.)
Also, did you know that Nintendo is proselytizing for Islam? Listen for yourself. Before you know it, your toaster will be shouting "Allahu Akbar!" five times a day, and it will have to do with activist judges. Just you wait.
Much thanks to Penny Arcade for bringing these threats to my attention. I recommend them as your penultimate source of political commentary. We all know who the ultimate is.